Big Fish Games

Sunday, November 24, 2013

A Fly on the Wall : The Happy Woman

You have all said, I'm sure at one point in time, "If only I could be a fly on the wall, the things I would know". Well, a question posed to me this week was, "If you were a fly on the wall, what would a happy woman look like to you"? This is my answer.

As a fly, I see a lot. Some are things that are no big deal, and others are things that a fly, or anyone else for that matter, should never see. Today I flew into a house just like I would any other house on any other random day. This particular house at the time was unkempt, a sign of kids for sure, but it was not filthy in any sense of the word. The kids were nowhere in sight, probably at school or out playing. There was one woman in the house though. She was not dressed for the day, still in her night clothes. This made me curious, so I followed her from room to room. Careful not to get too close, because as we all know, when a fly gets too close to a human, they are likely to die by swat. I digress.

As she puttered around the house, picking up after her family, she stopped for a moment. Arms loaded, she brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, looked around, and smiled. I wondered why she was smiling. She was picking up the house after everyone else, and she was disheveled, not something any normal woman would be smiling about, I thought. So I continued to follow her, from room to room, for what seemed like forever. After all, I will only be live for three days, and today is day two.

I looked at the clock. It was three thirty in the afternoon, and she started to cook, still with that same smile on her face. Curious indeed. The front door flew open, with two squirmy children running through it. Shoes flying and backpacks askew by the now closed door. The woman stops what she is doing and greets them with a smile, never minding that they are quickly undoing all that she had done while they were away. Now is the time for her to multitask. Dinner and homework, and preparations for the next day. Her husband will be home soon too. Not a glamorous life, but it's hers, and she loves every minute of it.

At the end of the day, I follow her into the bedroom. Her husband is in the bed reading the newspaper for the day, and she is getting ready to get into the bed herself. They start talking about their days and what transpired. "I don't know why you always look so happy, with the kids always fighting, and the house never being completely clean, and the stress you deal with day in and day out, how do you keep that beautiful smile always plastered on your face?" the husband asks. She simply said, "I know I am loved."

With a quizzical look on his face, he said, "Of course you are! That still doesn't explain your constant smile because even when your'e sad, you know you are loved." She sits and thinks for a moment. Then she turns to him and says, " I am happy because I know you and our kids are happy and appreciate the things I do. I am happy because our bills are paid. I am happy because I know we are raising our kids the right way, even when we do stumble. I am happy because I am content within myself, and I know that I wouldn't trade our life for any other."

As a fly, I know only two things of humans. One, they really don't like us, and two, they leave us yummy morsels of food, even when they don't mean to. This human woman taught me something though. Happiness is not about what you have or don't have. This woman was happy because she felt loved, and she knew that no matter what her past was, or what she did or didn't do, she would be loved. There really is no certain look to happiness, smiles can and are faked every day. She felt protected, safe, stable, and loved, and no matter what kind of chaos entered her life, she knew she had the support she needed.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Bipolar Money

Being bipolar is hard enough, and trying to make money while struggling with it makes it that much harder. Some are lucky enough to have spouses or parents that help them out financially, still not an easy road, but easier. Most of us can not hold down a job for more than a few months at a time, and this fact alone (not to mention the tons of other factors) makes our resumes look less than desirable to potential employers. This is a problem within the mental health community not only with bipolar, but with countless other mental illnesses as well. Sure, there is SSI, SSID, welfare, etc., but lets face it, using those resources cause more dysfunction than they help. It is true that for a lot of people these services and aids are an absolute godsend, but if you are physically able and your mental health holds you back, it can be very frustrating and confusing to say the least. People of not only strong body, but also of strong mind, really don't know how easy they have it.

We have to be creative about how we can earn our living without feeling like a sponge on society and those around us. Some can write, some can paint, some can come up with some amazing inventions to make life easier, and the list of creativity goes on and on. The point is that although our brains aren't the "norm", and we think so differently than most, we can still make money by making our illness work for us, not against us.

Figure out what you love. Make money with it. I'm not saying that you will make millions, pasta knows that is probably not going to happen for most, but every penny counts. There are ways to do it. For example, I love to write. I have been writing since childhood. Short stories, poems, this blog, several attempts at novels, the list goes on. Have I made any money at it? Um, no. But that does not mean that I won't some day. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to my writing. I am hyper-critical of what I write, and sometimes I will hit a brick wall, and being as I don't have anyone to report to I tend to get hopeless and under-motivated. So it's back to the drawing board .. a lot.

As I said, being bipolar and making money is not easy, but it is doable. Working from home is always sketchy, there are a lot of scams out there that will make you believe that you can make millions sitting on your butt. THIS IS NEVER TRUE!!! Earned money takes work, and work requires movement, and movement requires motivation, and motivation requires determination, see where I'm going with this? Use hypomania to your advantage. Will you fall flat on your face with some of it? Of course! We all do, even the norms fall from time to time. Some of the best things in this world came from bipolar people! While they were in the throws of their cycles! Go figure! If that is not motivation, I don't know what is.

So go forth, try, fall, then pull yourself up and try again, one of the attempts are bound to stick. My suggestion for the bouts of "inspiration" would be to share it with someone that knows you and knows your ailment. If the norms aren't good for anything, they are good for keeping us grounded when we get ahead of ourselves.